Paris vs. London

So to finish up our thoughts on Paris, here’s a little scorecard we drew up on the two biggest cities we’ve been to in Europe. It was very difficult while we were in Paris not to draw comparisons to London, so we decided to formalize it into a list. Because everyone loves lists! (This is also our first co-authored post! So even though it only says one name at the bottom, really we both wrote this one).

Respective Port Cities: London +3, Paris -2

So let’s start easy. As hinted at the end of the last post, Calais is lame. As we explained in our Dover post, Dover is awesome. Enough said.

Trains Into the City: London +1, Paris +2

The trains into London are just okay. They’re on time and reliable, and the views of the English country side are really beautiful. The trains in Paris went above and beyond. The first form of public transportation we’ve been in in which Seth actually had enough leg room. They move way faster than even the high speed trains in the UK (which are the exception...most of the trains in the UK are fairly slow). There’s plenty of room for all our luggage, which has been an issue at times in the UK. Some of the trains are even two levels, and the views are much better from the 2^nd level, where you can see above the trees and fences that often line the tracks and obstruct views. That being said, the trains into Paris don’t get a +3 because the landscapes surrounding Paris themselves were a bit drab and boring compared to those in England. Paris trains are also a bit more expensive.

Graffiti: London +3, Paris -1

London has Banksy. Paris just has a bunch of ugly garbage covering the walls into the train station.

Cleanliness: London 0, Paris -3

There’s only so much you can expect for a city in terms of cleanliness, so we think London does a pretty good job considering. There’s still some litter here and there, but overall it’s pretty good. The streets in Paris were just plain disgusting though, and what really did it over the edge was the smell.

Parks, Gardens, etc.: London +5, Paris +5

This was a split vote, so we gave them a tie. Seth thought Paris had the edge, while Chelsea gave it to London. In the end, the parks and gardens in both cities are absolutely beautiful, and a wonderful place to spend the day. Even the gangsters respect how beautiful the parks are and leave them alone.

Food: London +2, Paris -4, America +10

Chips shops in London are awesome. The only thing good in Paris was the kebab stands, which they have in London for half the price. Even the grocery stores in Paris were awful; it cost nearly as much to buy a meal’s worth of groceries as it did to buy take away. And as for that last score...well lets just say we miss some of our old friends Ryan, Wendy, Arby, and Mr. Bojangles. Please visit them for us.

City Buses: London -8, Paris 0

We really don’t even want to talk about the buses in London. In Paris, they really just don’t exist. We saw 2 or 3 the entire time we were there.

People: London +1, Paris -4

Anita has been so kind to us in London. Other than that, London, you’re just lucky Paris is so mean.

Weather: London -2, Paris +5

We’ve been pretty lucky concerning weather in London so far. The rain hasn’t been too horrible, and it hasn’t been too cold yet. But it’s always there, hanging over your head like a storm cloud. Literally. And the death winter is still yet to come. Weather in Paris was absolutely perfect; not a moment of bad weather.

Crying Children: London -2, Paris -3

For a while it looked like London was the solid loser here, with a steady stream of crying children. Nothing crazy, but keeping a good pace. The Paris came swooping in out of nowhere. After a few calm and quiet days, the finest criers in all of Paris came out in full force. The worst part of crying baby Parisians was the duration: they could keep it up for hours.

Fashion: London 0, Paris +2

London, you just wear black and look boring and sad. Fashion in Paris was strange at times, but at least it was intriguing and interesting to look at.

Tourist Attractions: London +4*, Paris +5

There was a split vote on London for this one. Seth has never been much of a fan of the tourism in London, though he did really enjoy Big Ben, the Strand, the Eye, and the bridges. So he gave it a +3, which is quite modest considering London’s position in the tourism industry. Chelsea gave it a +5 to average the score out to a +4, and we both agreed on a +5 for Paris, which truly did not disappoint.

Manpris and Fanny Packs: London +2, Paris +5

There’s a pretty high manpri-per-capita (mpc) in London, and an even higher fanny pack ratio. Both creatures run rampant. But Paris is essentially the world capital of the clothing item that’s either too short pants or too long shorts and the waist pack that everyone wears backwards.

Final Scores:

First Place: America:10

Second Place: London: 9

Third Place: Paris: 7

Whoa, who did that? Somehow America snuck it’s way in there and won it all. Oh you, America. You so random. Winning competitions you weren’t even supposed to be a part of. America wins again...

So, to summarize, Paris is a cool experience, but we’d never want to live there. We’re still dealing with the negatives of London, but all things considered it’s not a bad place to call home.