The Breaking Point

We're safe and happy in Scotland for our honeymoon! We love and miss you all so much! We had to walk 3 miles in the rain to get to some internet access at the library, and we had a time limit of an hour. So we've only got 5 minutes left now and don't have time to write anything new. But here's a post I wrote a few days before the wedding but never got around to publishing. Hopefully we'll get easier internet access soon and can update on more current events.

Since Chelsea's already written on this, and I promised to try and keep things shorter, I'm gonna go through this quick.

I had quite a different experience than Chelsea with her visa shipment, even if we came to similar conclusions in the end. This past Wednesdays was one of the most difficult days of my life. The pressure and stress of the wedding, of traveling, had all been building and weighing on both of us for so long already. And then, like all the days before, another disappointing trip to the mailbox with no passport inside. On top of all that, I'd come down with a painful sinus infection, my head throbbing all day long, and on the day before I was supposed to go camping in the woods for my bachelor's party.

Then Chelsea told me the news about her visa being shipped overnight. That was supposed to be good news, right? It was an answer to prayer. But somehow I couldn't bring myself to be joyful about it. All I could think were things like, why isn't mine coming? What good is hers if mine's not here and I can't go with her? Over and over in my head ran the thought, "We're supposed to be together. We're supposed to be together." I thought, mine was supposed to have been mailed 5 business days ago, why isn't it here yet? Why is all this happening? And then I felt guilty for thinking all those things, for not being happy about Chelsea's good news.

I called Chelsea and broke down. I told her I couldn't take anymore. That I couldn't withstand any more trials, any more tests from God, that it was too hard, that I was exhausted emotionally and spiritually, and now being sick, even physically. I was at my breaking point.

But God knew that, and pushed me just a little bit further. Chelsea calmed me down, reminded me to take things one day at a time. I had to keep on going, just a little bit further, further than I thought possible.

Finally, Thursday, God brought relief. I called the visa center, and they said that my passport had been overnighted the day before as well, just like Chelsea's. I looked up the tracking number-and it was headed to Chelsea's house. They shipped our materials together. We were together all along. On top of all that, my prescriptions began working and I felt good enough to enjoy our camping trip.

The point: God know's how much we can handle, knows what we're ready for, knows our breaking point, better than we do.